They are intelligent, like, always. That’s a given. They know a whole lotta shit that nobody else knows. They are often physically beautiful. And they know it. And if they’re not exactly pretty, they know how to make themselves frickin’ striking and magnetic and irresistible. You’ll never tell her, “You’re not my type.” Because she’s everybody’s type. Remember when Johnny Rotten sang, “I know what I want and I know how to get it.” ? That’s a Scorpio for you. They are born into this world with intense desires of all kinds– for power, wealth, beauty, talent, money, fame, charisma, sexual gratification— and, unlike other people, they are actually given the very assets and tools and opportunities needed to make that happen. She won the roulette wheel before it spun. While other people are talking and predicting and weighing options, the Scorp is actually out there doing it. She’s like…. unafraid. It’s not fair! If she screws something up– and I mean colossally– where other people might be embarrassed or crushed, she’s totally WHAT-EVS, because she can start anew and remake herself over a weekend’s time. A little wine and a pack of cigarettes, and she’s good. She moves on. But then, the karmic task of the Scorpio is to explore Desire… and also to reap and witness its costs, which can often be very dear indeed. You know what Buddha said. But Scorpios are not afraid of a little pain in life. In fact, they damn well dig it. Maybe even court it. All Scorpios have a touch of the sado-masochistic in their makeup.
The stinger, right? Degradation is, like, some kinky little appetite they sometimes have, like Deneuve in BELLE DU JOUR. Yet they paradoxically demand respect, so there’s that. Don’t respect her, and you are SO Audi 5000. And they very often like their sexual romps with a soupçon of pain and kink thrown in. Scorpios, men and women, always have the most beautiful genitals; they’re like, jewel-like and perfect, while other people’s is kinda ugly. All Scorpios, no matter how rich and educated was their family-of-origin, have an insatiable nostalgie-de-la-boue: They long to find out how poor, crazy, drunk/stoned, creepy, dumb, criminal and fucked-up people live. She’s at home in Versailles, bedlam or GUMMO. Or Scorpionic cities like New Orleans, Moscow, Washington DC, Berlin: places where mysterious cabals fester. The Scorpio needs to have an entourage of people under her control; if she can’t rule over the rich and educated, then by gawd she’ll go find some trashy-assed people she can dominate. Then pretty soon the fuckers are, like,at her house. People you’ve only seen at that sad 1970’s mall or at a pansexual disco that has no sign out front. That’s just how Scorps operate. But then when SHE needs a favor done? Christ, she snaps her fingers and they all come a-hoppin’. She understands Karma. What goes ’round, bitches. Scorp’s incredibly intuitive with animals; children love her, ’cause she keeps shit real. Even when you think the Scorp has totally and finally lost her marbles, perdido las canicas, you’ll find, to your surprise, that she is more in-touch with hard cold reality than YOU are. How can a person be so wacky far-out and yet, in supreme control? She probably likes some really weird-assed, dark, dungeon-y music, like somewhere between punk, goth and emo, except even weirder. British and German stuff that sounds like peeps be dyin’ ‘n’ shit. Tatts? DERR-RR. If a talented artist has been painting weird canvases, unknown, in his garage, on the bad side of town, SHE discovered and championed him FIRST: she trusts her gut tastes before consulting experts and critics. It’s weird when she talks about the dead and soon-to-be-dead in her life… I dunno, she just doesn’t give a monkey’s. Or let on that she does. People die, oh well. Cruel? Maybe just very realistic? She loves New Age-y stuff, but doesn’t believe any of it; the art looks kewl.
Scorps are the best of the best (Hillary Clinton, Bill Gates, Goldie Hawn, Christian Barnaard, Pablo Picasso, Dr. Billy Graham) or they are the worst of the worst (Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, Perry Smith, Richard Nixon, Karla Faye Tucker) . Scorps are either on TV in an expensive dove-grey suit, or they’re hanging on the post office wall. No in-betweens for the Scorpio. It’s balls-to-the-wall, 24/7, serving the Lord or the Devil, alternating them with her mood-du-jour and degree of sobriety. Her house will have shrines to both. But once a Scorpio woman has decided she loves you and you are her friend, she is yours for life. Unless you betray her, then you’re toast. The Scorpio woman is one of those people you’ll remember keenly your whole life. ‘Cause she really amazed you and fascinated you, even when you kinda wished she didn’t. You loved her.