When someone says they need a ton of attention from their partner in order to be happy, to some, that’s a huge red flag. But needing attention in a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean you’re “needy.” Some people really enjoy staying connected all the time, while others need their alone time every now and then. There’s nothing wrong with either. Knowing just how much attention your partner needs in order to feel safe and secure in your relationship is important to keeping them happy. Who doesn’t want that?
“When it comes to needing attention, we all require different kinds of attention when we’re in a relationship,” astrologer Cindy Mckean tells Bustle. One way to figure out how attentive you need to be is to know your partner’s zodiac sign.
According to Mckean, some signs tend to need the very minimal amount of attention. “A typical Aquarius couldn’t care less about attention — at least they don’t need a lot of attention to be happy. In their point of view, we’re all one, as equals.” Instead, when an Aquarius is interested in someone, they are very good at paying attention to every detail until their curiosity is satisfied. Like Aquarius, Capricorns and Sagittarius are also signs that don’t really require a ton of attention in order to feel secure in their relationships.
So now that you know which ones don’t need a lot of attention from their partners, here are the ones that do.
1. Aries (March 21 – April 19)
As confident and independent as an Aries can be, they are the first sign of the zodiac. So although they don’t really seek attention, Mckean says, they sometimes enjoy demanding it. They do so in order to feel like they belong. Aries can also sometimes get caught up in their own world and concerns, which can unintentional cause them to overlook their partner’s needs. If you’re dating an Aries, the solution is pretty simple. “Gently remind them what your needs and priorities are and they’ll be glad to accommodate,” she says.
2. Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Cancers have a reputation to need the most attention in order to be happy in a relationship, Mckean says. That’s because they like to constantly be reassured. “These sensitive souls tend to pick up on so many signals around them that it becomes difficult for them to tease out the nuances and as a result they [might] take everything personally,” she says. “As home-loving souls, they don’t like it when their partner ventures too far.” When a Cancer is not with their partner, you can pretty much expect a good amount of texts, calls, or e-mails from them. If you’re someone who likes keeping in touch with your significant other throughout the day, a Cancer is perfect for you.
If you’re involved with a Cancer, making it a point to verbalize how you feel about them is super important. They like receiving that validation. For instance, even if you say “I love you” right before bed, it wouldn’t hurt to say it first thing in the morning as well. “Know that in return they’ll always be thinking of you, your well-being, and comfort,” she says. “They will indulge you with good home-made cooking and comfort foods, make sure the home is always cozy, and they’ll always be there to listen and try to salve your problems.”
3. Leo (July 23 – August 22)
When it comes to loving attention, it shouldn’t surprise you that Leo is high up on the list. That’s typically what you get when your sign is ruled by the Sun. “There’s no such thing as getting too many compliments for a Leo,” Mckean says. “The more they get, the happier they are.” Leos are known for being social creatures that don’t care for being alone.
If you’re dating a Leo, you might have witnessed how much they love being the center of attention. “With the Sun being the ruler of Leo, this sign thrives when they are being admired,” astrologer Amy Tripp, tells Bustle. “Leo needs to feel special in order to be fully satisfied in a relationship.” The great part about it is, they’ll shower you with affection in return. It’s a win-win for everyone.
4. Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Libras are represented by scales. So it’s no surprise that balance in their relationship is essential for them to be happy. As an air element like Gemini, Mckean says, communication is essential. “Ruled by Venus, the planet of love, they like to be partnered,” she says. “They don’t require a lot of attention in regards to being doted on all the time, but they do love being coupled and exploring their partner.” That’s great if you’re someone who likes a lot of romance in your relationship.
If you’re dating a Libra, just know that they’re known for being huge flirts. So as Tripp says, “Don’t take it personally if you see them charming others.” Because they’re all about balance, they need their partner to sincerely put in just as much effort into the relationship as they do. “Libra grows through partnerships so they need someone willing to grow with them,” she says.
5. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Scorpios don’t typically require a high amount of attention to be happy in a relationship, Mckean says. However, they can get a little possessive and obsessive if they feel like their efforts aren’t reciprocated. “As deep-feeling souls, they are vulnerable but they’d rather disappear without a trace than publicly admit that,” she says. Scorpios can be very closed off. That’s because they’re very protective of their hearts. Once they let you in, it’s a huge deal.
If you’re involved with a Scorpio, take comfort in the fact that they are one of the most loyal signs in the zodiac. “Scorpio can become consumed with the person they’re dating as there is a strong desire for merging and intimacy,” Tripp says. All you need to do to keep them happy is to be completely honest with them. “Scorpio needs to feel like they can trust the person they are with,” she says. “If they’re not getting your attention they will be wondering who is.”
According to Mckean, the remaining signs, Taurus, Gemini, Virgo, and Pisces “could go either way” in terms of how much attention they need. Taurus, for instance, can be considered “demanding” for some, but since they’re earth signs, their needs tend to be more practical and reasonable. Gemini just need their partners to be communicative, Virgos pay close attention to the details, and Pisces just need to be shown some cares.
Regardless of sign, everyone needs a certain level of attention from their partner in order to be happy. If your partner needs a little bit more, give it to them. That doesn’t mean you have to be there for them every single second of the day. But just be there for them when they need you. Everyone deserves to be loved, cared for, and seen by their partner. There’s nothing wrong with that.